Some Say The Heart Is Just Like A Wheel...

If you bend it, it can't be mended. That's what Linda Rondstadt says anyway. Happy Valentine's Day. Here's to hoping your heart is swollen (in a good way) and not bent. Although it's not possible to have a heart without a ding or two. Is it?

"Air bag Shmair bag" says Britney Spears

So selfish to use your baby as a buffer between you and the airbag Britney! They couldn't have been wearing a seatbelt because if they were it would have served as a lopsided blindfold for the infant and that's just wrong.

Let's play devil's advocate for a moment. Maybe she was breast feeding, you know multi-tasking.

You have to admit the baby looked like he was having fun. Who wouldn't when you're first driving lesson is in an SUV before you're even walking? I'll bet the steering wheel makes an excellent teething ring. As for the body gaurd? He should be fired and a new one should be hired...for the baby.

Wild Turkey...

and I'm not talking about the drink. I was walking my dog in Morning Side Park this afternoon when a woman in front of me pointed and said, "Look". I turned to look and saw a statue I'd never noticed before and wondered why she was pointing it out to me. She said, "No, behind you, how could you walk right by that and miss it?" I looked again and found myself staring at a turkey. Honest to God. I'm not sure I've ever seen a live turkey before and I didn't expect to spot my first one in Manhattan. I thought the peacocks at St. John The Divine were exotic. The woman then introduced her small white dog as "Niles, the jerk". I've called my dog an asshole before but I'd never be insensitive enought to introduce her like that. "This is Jodie. She can be such an asshole."

Isn't she lovely? Mrs. Jobangles.